Activities of An Isomniac (This One to be Exact)

Loads of people have trouble falling asleep at night, and I am unfortunately one of that multitude. When I am lying there in my bed not sleeping, I am instead spending the wee hours of the night/morning doing the following (5 the least often, and so on to 1):

5) Planning the Next Day:
VS.
I envision myself waking up early, doing yoga, eating healthy meals, doing productive things, and going on adventures. However, the next day I usually get up at 12, eat less than healthy meals, do nothing productive, watch about 8 hours of Mad Men/Conan/Craig/30 Rock, waste money on movie tickets/dinner/unnecessary purchases such as tv box sets, and then go back to bed. The initial exercise of planning is therefore pointless and kind of sad. Which leads me to my next activity...

4) Berating Myself:

Here are some sample questions I ask myself/torture myself with: "Why didn't you do anything today?" "Don't you know that your time on this earth gets shorter every day?" "Why didn't you flirt back with that cute boy on the T?" "Shouldn't you have taken a shower today?"

3) Having Mock Conversations:

Such as with the aforementioned "cute boy on the T". We usually discuss how excited we both are for the last season of Lost, how awesome fun. is, and the changes in Conan's approach to comedy on the Tonight Show compared to Late Night.
Wow. That looks even sadder written down.
Moral of the story: worst life.

2) Writing:

I am currently typing The Rum Diary on my portable underwood, and writing The Great Gatsby and The Catcher in the Rye in notebooks. I started doing this because I read/saw? somewhere that Hunter S. Thompson used to type his favorite F. Scott Fitzgerald and Hemingway works to better understand the flow of the writing.
There are sometimes (sad) attempts at writing my own stuff, mainly poems and short stories.
I have also started (and scrapped/gave up on) mock Grey's Anatomy scripts, an orginal tv series called "Chuckleheads", and the next great american novel about 12 times.
On another note: Why haven't I become a wunderkind yet?

1) Interviewing For Prospective Jobs:

I do this a lot in the shower as well. For reasons unknown, I really enjoy daydreaming about future interviews I will go on. (While re-reading this before posting it I am proud that I wrote "will" instead of "want to" or "might") It is usually for jobs with NBC page program, Tonight Show, 30 Rock, Late Late Show, or SNL. Basically what I do is think of what kind of questions they will ask me, and then attempt to craft the perfect response. I've come to the conclusion that if I never get a job in television the last few years of my life may or may not have been a waste.